Things I have learned in the past 3 months

1. It is hard to watch out for loved ones and their feelings at the same time (Thanks Elisha!)

2. Baby girls can pee straight up

3. “Changing a diaper” can really mean three or four in a row

4. Babies go from sleeping to starving in 0.3 seconds

5. Babies love to be naked

6. There is absolutely no need to have a crib the first three months

7. Being a mom means being peed, pooped and spit-up on

8. Being a mom also means being smiled at, giggled at and loved on

9. I have learned how to type, do laundry, clean dishes and bottles all one handed

10. Diaper bags suck

11. Breastfeeding is a pain in the ass yet somehow the best of all my options

12. Babies can poop towards the front of their diaper

13. Spit-up can have distance

14. Babies will always want to eat at two exact times: 1) Just when mom shuts her eyes and
2) Just when dinner is ready

15. Car seats are very frustrating to carry and are in desperate need of an ergonomic redo

16. You can not leave the baby at home with the dogs while you “run a quick errand”

17. Being pregnant was actually the easy part

18. It is probably not a good idea to feed the baby chocolate

19. Sometimes you just don’t care what clothes they are wearing

20. After you bathe a baby she will pee on you during her towel drying